Why You Don't Live the "American Dream"

I am one person, making one salary, supporting 3 people and 2 dogs. I have savings and disposable income for going on vacation or just going to the movies, or that unexpected stray dog that I end up adopting because he’s the cutest thing ever and he needs medical help. I have money if something happens to my car and it needs repair or replacing. I have money if something should happen to my job and I have to survive for a few months without it. Or, when a 7cm cancer tumor had to be cut out of me, I paid for it. I sometimes feel “broke” and feel like I’m living paycheck to paycheck, but I still have money in the bank. How can that be? How can it be that I can have or do these things when I make $20/hr alone, and they make $100,000.00 a year or even $7.25/hr with two incomes?

The main reason that a two income family can have less disposable income than me is, other than I don’t live beyond my means, is this, THEY SPENT IT ALREADY:

1.            They had to have 2 of the newest model of whatever the newest cool car is every year that guzzles gas like it’s going out of style and belches out its by product into the atmosphere instead of investing in and maintaining a reliable car that will not only get them from point a to point b, but also be gas, environment and money friendly in the long run.

2.            They had to have the biggest 96” wrap around/3d/flat screen tv that costs about the same as the above mentioned reliable car does, but they have to put it on credit because nobody has $36,000 for a tv right now, instead of doing research on a reliable high quality television that is perfectly suitable for the 6-8 hours a day they spend in front of it watching “reality” tv or babysitting their children with.

3.            They had to have the newest “i” product that costs about the same as one month of a mortgage or rent or sometimes more than that and will be obsolete in a year because it’s an “i” product and it comes with a hefty monthly bill for use because the “i” product is only available on one carrier, instead of doing the research and finding a reliable, high quality phone that doesn’t lock you into a contract with false promises, but delivers exceptional coverage, unlimited use on data/text/minutes and can be used internationally without additional costs for about ½ of what they are paying and last longer.

4.            They had to have “the name” on their clothes, or their children’s clothes, on shoes, purses, sunglasses, perfume, furniture, napkins, you name it, and spent $50 on one tee shirt, instead of thinking logically that “the name” clothes will become mired in some overseas slave shop scandal and fall out of favor closing forever with their money, the kids will grow out of the clothes or be ridiculed within a couple months because it’s not the newest name and they have to back to the store and spend more of their money, the shoes will wear out for everyone because they got a scuff and no one takes their shoes to be repaired but spend more money on the new design of the same shoe that will be obsolete in 6 months, the sunglasses will be forgotten on the bar next to that last drink they had to drown out the misery of being broke, the furniture will go out of style or the kids will spill kool aid on it because it didn’t dawn on Country Club Britni that white suede was probably not the best choice with a 3 yo toddler who has a nanny that is sitting by the back door sneaking cigarettes while “watching” the kid, and they never think to purchase high quality lasting or classic styles that will transition through time or donate the clothes they have grown out, or tired, of to those who need it.

5.            They have to shop at , eat at , drink at , instead of going to their local run farmers market or hometown grocery store and spending 3x as much for prepared food or items that they can make themselves at home with minimal effort, but the tv in the kitchen is so big there is no counter space, and the stove doesn’t work because there is a difference between bake & broil and what do you mean I have to clean the oven when there is a spill because I put the frozen pizza on the top rack without a baking sheet and now it’s burnt to the metal and the bottom so I can’t use it and I have to buy all my food prepared because it’s not my fault the oven is broken.

6.            They had to have a 5-bedroom house for 3 people in Super Expensive Subdivision, USA.

7.            They had to have 1000 satellite channels of nothing in their homes and their cars.

8.            They had to have weekly manicures/pedicures/hair appointments/facials/cosmetic surgery.

9.            They had to have every credit card ever and spend every last dime on them for ALL. THE. THINGS.

10.         They did not want to take on the power and responsibility of earning/gaining/having money seriously until it was too late and now, it’s everyone else’s fault and they expect someone else to fix it and blame society for all their ills.

Oddly enough, it is society that is the root of all of this. If everyone, I mean everyone, would start to except responsibility for their actions or inaction, their apathy, their gross neglect of contributing something to this world except whining about how they are owed this or that and really work for what they have and understand that it’s not about the biggest, newest, most expensive thing, that it’s about living a good, decent, honest life full of joy and pain, triumph and failure, love and heartbreak, and not look to place blame for any of it on anyone but themselves and the choices they make, then maybe, just maybe, that American dream would become a reality again. 

(I’ll probably write about what the “American Dream” actually used to be in my next post.)

~ Tet

SOCIALLY AWKWARD DATING

I decided I wanted to dip into the dating pool after a couple of years, yes, a couple years, of being boyfriend-less. I found the site that I THOUGHT would be perfect for me, and all you have to do to know what site it was is to think about the type of person I am. My favorite things in life are: Video Games, Science Fiction/Fact/Fantasy books, Movies, TV and music. I like cooking too, and alcohol, but mostly, I’m just a “geeky-nerd” type who’s more comfortable in a coffee shop or dark theatre than the night club and crowded events with tons of people. Except for Kid Rock, that was awesome!!!

Anyway, after signing up for said online dating service, and paying my $35.00 for membership, I have to admit, I quickly realized that the expectations and the reality of what I signed up for where so diametrically different, I quit within only a couple weeks. After corresponding with a few of the men on the site via quick messages or actual emails, I discovered there was a similarity between all of them; they were either lonely, horny, or both. But then, there were some that stood out for the complete lunacy of their awkwardness.

 I will share that lunacy below:

1.      Expectation: Me: Here’s an honest picture and description of me, hope you’re the same.

Reality: You: Here’s a dick pic, no profile info, but I think we’re compatible and should meet up somewhere.

Result: NO. Nothing more, just NO. But thank you for your message.

2.      Expectation: Me: Paid $35 for a “Gold” membership, to meet people and send and receive messages.

Reality: You: Nobody pays for a membership, I can’t see your messages, my real email is johnsmith at g mail dot com…just make sure you put them altogether like an email address…

Result: Oh…that’s how that works? I couldn’t figure it out so I didn’t send you an email. But thank you for your message.

3.      Expectation: Me: You’re not religious, you’re not political, and you’re employed right?

Reality: You: Have you accepted Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ into your life? Make America Great Again! Haven’t worked in months…

Result: If you could never contact me again, that would be great. But thank you for your message.

4.      Expectation: My profile: Full figured.

Reality: Your profile: Looking for athletic/slim/slender for threesome, and to wear your panties on my head.

Result: I’m not sure that your face and my panties are compatible. But thank you for the message.

5.      Expectation: Message subject: We’ve found a match for you!!

Reality: Message details: We got nothing. How ‘bout this guy 2,000 miles away?

Result: I hear crickets... But thanks for the message.

6.      Expectation: Me: Let’s talk about LUE (42) for a while to find out if we’re compatible.

Reality: You: Two weeks into talking, you’re in a relationship…with someone else…

Result: Sure we can be friends. Thanks for the emails.

7.      Expectation: Me: Looking for grounded but whimsical guy with optimistic outlook for finding happiness.

Reality: You: Just got out of divorce, not looking for anything serious, hates job, hates life, understands if you don’t want to talk with him…

Result: Kik is full of some very strange, sad people, I’m out. Thanks for the message.

8.      Expectation: Me: My Facebook is Stephanie Tittle (Varahn Tet). Friends – 197. Since – 2009.

Reality: You: Prince Dick Bananahammock. Friends – 0. Since – March 16, 2016.

Result: How do I block people on Facebook again? Thanks for the request.

9.      Expectation: Me: Is there anyone decent on the internet?

Reality: You: No. Just give up now.

Result: Welp, I guess I have to put on pants again to meet people. Thanks.

10.   Expectation: Me: I’m okay with this?

Reality: Me: I’m okay with this.

Result: I’m okay with this! Thank you!

What I took away from this experience was; I can never get that time back (or the money). I can never unsee some of those photos. I will never use an online dating service again. I decided from that point forward that I would rather make a predetermined judgment of who I want to date based on the size of your belt buckle and the sincerity of your smile. Also, if you could look like Sebastian Stan, that would be a bonus…my panties would definitely fit on that head.

~ Tet  

10 reasons why...we need good friends.

Isn’t it strange how life moves? Like waves on the beach. Some days the tide is high, you are surrounded, full of joy. The next, low, barren stretches of dry callous days and sadness. But somehow, in the middle, they meet, blending the two so that the good days are tempered by the bad. The bad doesn’t seem so bad when happiness starts to rush over you again and again.

I felt that way today when a friend, albeit I haven’t talked to her in months, called me out of the blue. I’m not sad mind you, more resigned, but it was so uplifting to hear her voice. I have been keeping so much inside, things I can’t tell the people around me now, in this place. But when I heard her, all of those thoughts, feelings, emotions, rationalizations, came flooding out. It was as if she knew I needed to talk to her.

She got me to thinking and here are 10 reasons why, we need good friends:

1. Because they “get” you. – You could be like me, a little brusque at times, but really a bowl full of Jell-O when it comes to my dog. But they love you anyway.
2. Because you “get” them. – They don’t command you to listen to everything there is to talk about, about themselves. And because you love them.
3. They know when to be mean. – Pull yourself together woman/man! Now is not the time for a pity pot session.
4. They know when to offer a shoulder. – I’ll be here for you, whatever you ask. Except a six pack of beer and a box of cigs. ;-)
5. They don’t care where you live, what kind of car you drive, whose label is on your clothes. – Because that is not who you are, it’s only material possession. And friends like that, you don’t need anyway.
6. Your secret double life doesn’t bother them. – We all have them. Whatever dirty little secret you hold, they know, but don’t judge you.
7. They forgive your trespasses against them. – Not, oops I cheated with your husband type mistakes. More, I can’t believe I forgot to pick you up mistakes.
8. Goes without saying, you forgive them. – As the prayer says, forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
9. They are not as weird, silly, serious, intelligent, crazy, confined or as loving as you. – They are the Yin to your Yang. Creating a unity of opposites.
10. They’re just as weird, silly, serious, intelligent, crazy, confined, and loving as you. – Like two peas in a pod, you fit just right together!

Well those are my reasons for having good friends. I don’t mean acquaintances, people drop in and out of our lives for a reason, but some we must hold on to, or hold on to us. So for all you friends out there who haven’t talked in awhile, pick up the phone and call, or send a text saying “hey thinking about you”. You will feel better for bringing your light back into someone’s life.

~Tet~