10 ways how to not look cool on a Harley

You’ve heard it, that far off thunder rolling down the road. It starts as a low rumble and as it moves towards you, there is no denying the power vibrating from that signature engine. You’ve just been passed by a rider on a Harley. The last rebellious (socially acceptable) icon in western culture. Whether male or female, there’s nothing like it. With the black leather jackets, blue jeans and traveling party, who can disagree with the arguably cool “biker” persona?

The Harley Davidson Motorcycle has a rich history going back to 1901. They are not just the 1953 Marlon Brando movie "The Wild One". The movie, the biker gang, the rebel without a cause attitude, is not solely what owning a Harley is about. But it gave rise to a pop culture phenomenon which still exists today. The bad boy image of riding a motorcycle or more specifically, a Harley Davidson.

And as those teenagers in the 50's gave rise to the freedom loving hippies of the 70's, we were given a more mature flavor of the Harley rider in "Easy Rider". Now in the turn of the century, those rebellious, free love adults became part of the establishment and gave us "Wild Hogs". In essence, telling us that as they grew up, they became your dad, your uncle or your super cool next door neighbor, but they never forgot about Harley Davidson.

But of course, time and again we are brought back to the bad boy image of the Harley with movies and tv shows, most recently with, "Sons of Anarchy". An outer fringe of motorcycle riders perpetuating the bad boy, biker gang image. Great for tv, but it's not how every Harley rider is.

So to you dads, uncles, super cool next door neighbors, those riders who can identify and understand the beckoning of the open road, the wind on your face, and the feel of the V-twin engine between your legs, cruising with your best girl to your favorite hang out (Cook's Corner), or 1500 miles to Sturgis, South Dakota, this is for you. Those riders who have formed the bonds of brotherhood only other Harley riders know. You will know who I'm talking about when I list 10 ways how to not look cool on a Harley. Because admit it, you've seen the riders who've managed to undo 108 years of cool too.

1. 2. and 3. Red polo shirt, khaki shorts, white sneakers. That’s it, no helmet, no jeans, no boots, and for pete’s sake! A POLO SHIRT? This guy managed to commit the top three sins of being a bad rider all in one fell swoop. He gives new meaning to “fair weather rider”.
4. No helmet? No brain! Seriously, if you have anyone in the world who cares about you, even if it’s only a little dog or cat at home, wear a helmet. Just because your state allows riding without one, doesn't mean you should.
5. A trailer hooked to your bike. A Harley is about freedom, not tethering yourself to your material goods. If you have saddlebags on your bike, that’s all you need. If you need more, use one of those foreign cars you have sitting in the drive instead.
6. Tassels. If your bike or your clothes have tassels, you are not cool. Unless of course you’re a 10 year old girl from Ismay, MT, your bike is pink and comes with a little plastic flower basket and a bell.
7. Helmets with headphones. Again, it’s about freedom. Not talking about the dry-cleaning or the cost of your kids’ private school tuition. Cut the chatter and noise and listen to the road calling you.
8. Drinking and riding. NEVER COOL.
9. Revving your engine next to a little old lady. Really? Why did you have to go and do that? A dude in a suped up Camaro, a hot chick in a SUV, your Mom, I’m sure they can appreciate the awesome coolness of your over carbed engine. The little old ladies in the Ford Focus next to you, well, that’s just mean.
10. It’s 2 o’clock in the morning!! Try following a few simple courteous rules:

• Coast your bike into the garage if it’s that late.
• Don’t invite all your biker friends over for an ink party on a Tuesday night.
• Stop singing karaoke to “Freebird” over and over when you’re drunk.
• Tell those girls on the front porch to put their shirts back on!!
  

Having lived the life for a few years, this is what I have learned. Watching all the lawyers, execs, Rough Riders, and just plain old everyman bikers over the years, I can tell you that as a group they are the coolest and nicest people you’ll ever meet. Fellow riders will stop to help if they see you on the side of the road. They give you a little wave as you cruise on down the road past each other as a sign of brotherhood. They are respectful of other riders and drivers. They are a generous, kind and compassionate community.

But if you or someone you know can relate to one of the above traits, you are one of the uncool ones and are giving the rest of them a bad name. Stop it!

For the rest of you, “Live to ride. Ride to Live.”

~Tet~